Modern Barbershop Podcast: NBA Midseason Awards

January 14, 2016 — Leave a comment

In their first podcast of 2016, Colin and Sean give their midseason awards and the sound machine makes a triumphant return

NEW YEAR NEW EMBARRASSING PIC

 

 

Happy Birthday, Dad

January 2, 2016 — Leave a comment

Dear Dad,

 

Today is your birthday. I’m embarrassed to say Facebook reminded me you would’ve been 67 today. I’m home with just mom tonight. She misses you and your snoring at night. We all miss you. I actually think the dog misses you the most. She lays in your spot on the couch and gazes out the window. I secretly think she’s searching for you. I can relate with her. I’ve had the luxury of living in Iowa since you passed and in some ways it’s made it easier for me (and in some ways harder). But being home for Christmas has been different. I keep thinking you’re out running some errands or that you’re upstairs in your room. It doesn’t feel like you’re gone. We’re all just waiting for you to come home.

I was out at a bar for new year’s, and like most people, counted down the seconds until the new year. As soon as everyone had hugged and screamed ‘happy new year’ I reached for my phone to call you. I think it was the first time everything really hit me. I texted mom ‘Happy New Year’. Later that night, I snuck away and called your cell phone, hoping to just hear your awkward recording of your name, “…ehm David Sears…” Instead it was just a simple voicemail. No words. No voice. No dad.

Christmas has felt hollow this year, but I expected that. I said during your funeral that I should be grateful to have people in my life who can leave such a hole. It means you did your job, raising me and the family. We’ve all told our favorite stories about you. The time when you threw the Christmas tree out the patio door. Or about the time when you broke the oven door off. All the times you put up with my crap or Connor and Brendan’s crap. When you and mom first met.

The most interesting thing you’ve taught me is that, even though a person might not be here anymore, that doesn’t mean you stop learning about them. I’ll never stop learning from you, even though you’re gone. I’ve also learned you are the only person in our home that knew how to correctly wire our Christmas lights. (Seriously, how the hell did you make any of this crap work?)

I look back on things and still wonder how you were able to fight for so long. I don’t totally get how you did that, but I know that you are the strongest person I’ve ever encountered. Both physically and emotionally.

Anyways, I just wanted to say I miss you. And I love you. And Happy 67th Birthday, Dad.

Your son,

 

Sean

Drummond & Rebounding: Detroits turnaround

December 11, 2015 — Leave a comment

By Sean Sears

The Detroit Pistons are looking like a playoff team this year, sitting just behind the Chicago Bulls for the final playoff spot with a 12-11 record. The team lives and dies by their budding star center, Andre Drummond, who has exploded in his first season without former frontcourt mate, Greg Monroe. Drummond is a rebounding god, averaging 16.7 in TRB (total rebounds) to go along with 18 points, both career highs. Originally drafted to be a defensive presence and collect rebounds to allow Monroe to be the offensive big, Drummond has proved he can do a little bit of everything. Stan Van Gundy’s second year with the struggling franchise has been great for Drummond, playing a very similar game Van Gundy had with Dwight Howard during his time in Orlando. I don’t think Drummond is the same type of player Howard is (or was I guess, Houston looks bad), but so far Drummond is the reason this team is able to win. The Pistons have been running a ton of pick and rolls between Drummond and point guard Reggie Jackson, which has been extremely effective, especially when Drummond does stuff like this….

giphy (12)

*fire emoji*

Besides alloy-ooping, the two have been able to play off each other, with Reggie Jackson finding easier lanes to drive to the hoop. And when defenders elect to focus on Jackson, Drummond dives to the hoop to throw down one of his powerful dunks.

The Piston’s big has not only turned heads with his dunks, but also on the boards, as Drummond is the NBA’s current rebounding champ. As of December 10th, Andre Drummond had collected a total of 383 rebounds this season, almost 100 rebounds more than Clippers Center DeAndre Jordan who sits in 2nd in the league with 295. He averages 5.5 offensive rebounds per game, and a total of 127 on the year (45 more than DJ who is 2nd at 82). Drummond has only had 3 games all season where he didn’t collect at least 10 or more rebounds and only 7 collective games with less than 15 rebounds. He has also had 5 games with 20 or more rebounds, setting a career high with 29 against the Pacers on Nov. 3rd. All but 3 games this season have been double-doubles for the big man. Now, Drummond has always been great on the boards, a career 12.3 total rebounds per game, but it’s his scoring that has improved a lot in the last two years. Coming into the league, Drummond wasn’t expected to have a low post scoring presence, averaging 10 ppg in his lone season at UCONN. But in the last two seasons, Andre has developed a slew of effective post moves, working especially well facing away from the rim.

giphy (11)

Drummond has added a jump hook to his game

Because of the breakout season from Drummond, the Pistons are the best rebounding team in basketball, but it all starts and ends with Drummond. Besides Drummond, nobody else averages more than 6 total rebounds a game on the Pistons. So Drummond is the entire reason the Pistons are dominating on the glass, and without him, they are easily a bottom 5 rebounding team in the NBA.

Drummond’s numbers go beyond rebounding though, as these charts explain (props to NBAsavant.com). The first chart shows the breakdown between Drummond’s offensive and defensive rebounds, as about 1/3 of his rebounds are coming off a Piston missed shot. The only other player with a better offensive rebounding percentage right now is Oklahoma City’s Enes Kanter, who is specifically just an offensive player with only 169 total rebounds on the season.

chart

This second chart shows the different type of putback shots Drummond has used throughout the season, which is key. Out of Drummond’s 320 shots (according to NBA savant and stat.nba.com) 75 of them have been putbacks (47 of them made). So, Drummond is cleaning up a ton of Piston shots, converting about 62.7% of his putbacks (which also accounts for 23.4% of his total shots on the season).

chart (2)

That is huge for a team that doesn’t have much shooting, knowing that when they do take a shot, Drummond will not only go and get the ball but also score it. Having Drummond on your team should instill confidence into your shooters, but unfortunately that is not the case for Detroit. Currently, the team is shooting 41.8% from the field and 31.6% from three (putting them 28th overall in shooting and 27th from deep) but nobody on this Detroit team was expected to shoot great. This adds value to Drummond’s game, but is also the team’s downfall.

giphy (13)

Drummond leads the league in second chance points

Drummond’s best game of the year came against the Indiana Pacers, in which he grabbed his career high 29 boards, along with scoring 25 points, but Detroit still lost by 12 (And the game was never really close). In a game against the Lakers, Drummond put up 17 pts & 17 boards in a losing effort as well (granted the game was the last of a 3 games in 5 days’ road trip). Part of the reason the Pistons have trouble winning games is because the team lacks any real scoring threats outside of Jackson and Drummond. Stan Van Gundy and the team hope that Brandon Jennings can give the team some much needed bench scoring when he returns, after averaging 15 points in his last two season in Detroit. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and Stanley Johnson have both had their moments, Detroit hopes they can both develop into promising wing players, but neither have shown consistent shooting from the field.

The Pistons also have a tough time passing out of the post, with Drummond averaging less than 1 assist per game. This means when Detroit runs the pick and roll with Drummond receiving the ball, it is almost never coming out of the post, allowing teams to double team the Piston big and swarm the ball. So far, Drummond has been able to fight through a lot of the traffic in the low post to score and rebound the ball. But, come playoff time, teams will start to box out better and sheer effort won’t be enough to win the boards.

giphy (10)

Drummond is able to escape a double team here, but that may not be the case in a playoff series.

Another weak spot in Drummond’s game are his free throws, as the center shoots 37% from the charity stripe, making him a risky play late in a close game (More Dwight Howard comparisons).

Despite the flaws, Drummond is putting together a dominant season, as he might actually be able to reach the 20/20 club (20 ppg and 20 rpg) and would be the first since Wilt Chamberlain to accomplish that feat. The Pistons may not be a star-studded team, and will probably have an early exit out of the playoffs this season, but this Detroit team is developing a solid core with Drummond as the focal point. With his world-class rebounding skills, efficient defense, and newfound touch around the rim, the big man gives Detroit a young piece to build around for the next decade.

 

(All GIFs were found or created on giphy.com, stats came from basketball-reference.com and stats.nba.com, charts are from NBAsavant.com)

Rated PG: Why Paul George is playing like an MVP

December 7, 2015 — Leave a comment

Great article on Paul George and his great comeback season

Swingman

14 September 2014. Team USA wins the Gold Medal at the 2014 FIBA World Championships. The 2014 Team USA squad was littered with the future franchise stars of the NBA. This time, it was Kyrie Irving, James Harden, Anthony Davis and Stephen Curry carrying the hopes of the nation with veterans such as LeBron James and Chris Paul opting to sit out the tournament. Paul George was meant to be there, destined to be there, until he wasn’t.

Paul George had risen from relative obscurity, attending little known Fresno State before becoming the Indiana Pacers’ 10th pick in the 2010 NBA Draft. However, his rise had been quicker and more explosive than anyone had dared to imagine. Following the 2013-14 season, George’s scoring average had risen every year he had been in the league, culminating in consecutive All-Star appearances and consecutive All-NBA selections in 2013 and 2014. George was…

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The Curious Case of Patrick Kane Fandom

December 7, 2015 — Leave a comment

By Sean Sears

16 goals. 25 assists. 21 straight games registering a point, 41 points total. On pace to destroy personal bests in almost every offensive category. Patrick Kane’s stat sheet is ‘lit’. Kane’s play has made Blackhawk games must watch TV, with even the most casual fans of the NHL tuning in to see ‘Kaner’ dazzle on the ice. But that’s where it all ends.

On the ice.

Nobody is surprised the Blackhawks’ superstar forward is having a fantastic season again, he’s never had issues executing on the ice. But his issues off the ice have been well documented, and this past offseason put Kane in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Patrick Kane was (still kinda) involved in one of the most bizarre, high profile, rape accusation cases in recent years. It all started with information leaking out after an early August weekend that Kane had gotten himself in trouble.

kane record breaker

Kane’s other impressive streak

Most Blackhawks’ fans have become accustom to some young adult debauchery, I think everyone remembers the Taxi Cab incident, but also some partying on the campus of University of Wisconsin-Madison (Mifflin Street can get the best of all us). But at age 23, with a Deadspin article revealing photos of Kane passed out at the bars and walking down the street with his lifeless arm wrapped around a police officer, it was getting harder to just brush off the issues with a “that’s just Kaner being Kaner.” So, after a few days passed, there was nothing in the news about Kane, but NHL rumor accounts on twitter had reported that the Blackhawks were extremely disappointed with Patrick Kane and trade rumors were starting to swirl. Then things solidified.

 

I was in dismay. But it wasn’t because I couldn’t believe Kane could do something like this, but that he was dumb enough to put himself in a situation like this. After watching countless interviews of the talented forward, I could tell that in the past few seasons he had matured. He was figuring out how to be a leader on the ice and in the locker room. He was developing into a veteran forward, a person who knew how the league worked and how to succeed in it. So when it was announced that he was involved in a matter this serious, it instantly made my perception of Patrick Kane shift.

Kane’s scheduled day with the Stanley Cup went from a city-wide celebration to a small, closed party at his home. Later, Kane would be pulled off the cover of EA sports’ popular hockey video game NHL 16, leaving fellow Blackhawk’s star Jonathan Toews the lone cover athlete. Team owner Rocky Wirtz expressed disappointment in each quote he gave about the topic during the summer, but otherwise refused to give anymore incite. From that point on, nobody would hear anything for almost a month, as the case was staying behind closed doors. Both lawyers would give statements, saying their client’s intentions and how they believed each were going to win their case, but nothing beyond that. Few details would be dispensed over twitter along with fringe stories on sites like Deadspin or Bleacher Report, but nothing groundbreaking. It would just be details from people who saw Kane and the woman together that night (much of which was heavily biased towards Patrick Kane being innocent or “victim-blaming” the woman claiming rape). With zero details being released to the public on the case, social media speculations were abundant. Within all this, trade rumors began to build, as even respected journalists began to assume Kane and the Blackhawks were on the verge of splitting ways.

The case would only become more bizarre on September 22nd, when Kane’s accuser’s attorney Thomas J. Eaonnou called for a news conference to be held the next day. Eaonnou explained he would not be representing the alleged rape victim after a tampered (but legitimate) rape kit from the case was found on the victim’s mother’s doorstep. Eaonnou did say during his press conference that the victim’s case was still strong, but he felt the victim and her mother were not being forthcoming with how the kit was found (translation: he thinks they still have a case, he just can’t trust them because he doesn’t believe their story on how the rape kit was found). All of this happening while Patrick Kane was reporting to the campus of Notre Dame for the start of Blackhawks training camp.

Some reactions from Twitter:

 

 

Kane’s lawyer Paul Cambria was quoted in this NBC Chicago article calling the whole thing “forever tainted” in his eyes. “This happening today bizarre,” Cambria said. “I have been practicing criminal law for many years, I’ve had many cases all over the United States, and I have to say this is a shocking, shocking development.” Cambria would also infer from the developments that “somebody attempted to use him to fabricate or obstruct and undermine science.” in reference to Kane and the apparent lost and rediscovered rape kit.

It became obvious any charges would be dropped (even after the tampering claims were recanted by Eaonnou), and Kane would walk away from the nightmare with his reputation still somewhat intact. At this current time, Kane isn’t officially “out of the woods”, with the case technically still not closed. But with only some type of settlement as the accuser’s best option, Patrick Kane might be losing some money but nothing else. The NHL is still holding its own investigation, so Kane could potentially still see some type of punishment from the league, but at this point it seems unlikely.

Shifting focus back to the ice, Patrick Kane is having a truly incredible season. Having just tied Blackhawks legend and current team ambassador Bobby Hull’s consecutive points streak at 21 games, he goes for the team record tonight at home against the Winnipeg Jets. If it is any other player on the Blackhawks, I would be ecstatic. I hope him and the Blackhawks the best, but I’m finding it hard to cheer for someone who was accused of rape. Regardless of what really happened, he put himself in that situation and that just sits with me wrong. Kane released a statement saying he was “innocent” but never explained more than that saying his focus was on the season (which seems to be paying off so far). Charges were eventually dropped, and the accuser has said she does not want to cooperate with the investigation anymore, stating the case had brought “tremendous stress to her and her family” (reports from the Erie County D.A.’s office also cite a lack of DNA evidence). So the case might have being leaning towards Kane anyways, but sadly nobody will truly know what happened that night besides Patrick Kane and his accuser. Which leaves me (and all the other Hockey fans) with two options, either move on and go back to loving Patrick Kane, or hold the incident against him forever and subsequently hate America’s best hockey player.

I’ll probably start to find my way back to appreciating Kane’s dangling and deking, but as of right now, I’ll stick to my wearing my Toews sweater.

 

(Patrick Kane assisted on an empty net goal, to extend his streak to 22 games)

The Kayaking Trip

November 19, 2015 — Leave a comment
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Me circa 2010

By Sean Sears

I promised embarrassing stories when starting this blog, so I’ve retreated deep into my repressed memories to dig up some great and totally awful stories about myself. As truly horrifyingly funny as this story will be for me, I have to warn anyone who might be offended or off put by gross bodily function type of stuff. (I’m going to be talking about poop people). So, you’ve been warned.

Here we go……

 

This story is from the first semester of my senior year of high school (2010), in my urban history class. The class was all about Chicago, the history of the city and how different areas of the city became what they are today. What made the class appealing to most people were all the field trips the class took, visiting different museums, unique neighborhoods, bike rides on the lake front etc. It was an awesome class, and something I had been looking forward to at the beginning of the year. But the field trip I was most looking forward to was a kayak trip on the Chicago River, starting on the North side of the city we would make our way all the way down to the South side. So we arrived to the starting point early on a comfortable September morning. The school had provided snacks and bottles of water to bring with us during the trip as everyone had congregated around the free food. As I made my way to the table to grab a cereal bar, the teacher’s running the field trip reminded us multiple times to use the portable bathrooms before the trip started.

“We will not be stopping during our trip, so go now or hold it for the next 4 hours.”

So everyone shifted from the food to waiting in line to use the bathroom, me included. But after waiting for 15 minutes, the Kayak rental company was starting to distribute Kayaks, so I decided I would be fine and made my way towards the dock. The kayak rental employee walked the class through the basic rules and expectations of kayakers on the river. Nobody paid attention, and the employee could tell, giving us a very unenthused walk through. He paused for a second and told everyone to claim a Kayak, and everyone scrambled to their favorite color. My friend Chris and I got situated, as we both sat there wadding in the water. It was about 5 minutes in when I realized how badly I had to go pee.

The first hour or so was easy, I just focused on paddling and gazing at the skyscrapers around me. I was talking with my other friends on the trip, all of us pointing out buildings we thought were the Sears Tower. It really could’ve been a fun trip had I just peed before the stupid thing started. But as I made my way further down the Chicago River, it became harder to ignore my need to relieve myself. Being surrounded by water wasn’t making my situation any easier either. I started to shift back and forth in the kayak and eventually my friend started to notice and asked if I was alright. I answered.

“I’ve really gotta pee”

“Oh me too man.”

So we were in this together. I found some strange comfort knowing that Chris was trying to not piss his pants too, which also made me realize how weird of a place I was in. For the next hour we would share dream scenarios where the trip would just randomly stop for a lunch break and we could go pee, or we’d wrap around a corner and just be at our stopping point.

toilet mirage

Luke Skywalker can relate to a homie

After about an hour of day dreaming, we started to become desperate. Chris emptied his water bottle and decided he’d pee into a bottle. It was a pretty simple idea but being surrounded by classmates, teachers and the general public made it hard to pee in a bottle without being caught. So we started to drop back a bit, and decided with plenty of bridges coming towards us, if Chris could time it right, he would have a window to shamefully pee in the plastic ice mountain bottle.  It took about 15 minutes but finally we approached a bridge in an area that wasn’t crowded. As we started to slip towards the back of our group, the nose of our Kayak and Chris’s junk were on the cusp of entering their perfect storm of scenarios, right as we collided with some teachers. Chris dropped the bottle during impact, and quickly covered his exposed parts. I distracted the teachers (both female, by the way) enough to allow Chris to pull himself inside his pants, but we had failed miserable. The teachers apologized and questioned why we were moving so slowly. We decided to play the bitch card and say we were tired.

They could smell our desperation.

After about another 45 minutes, Chris lost all self-respect and went rogue.

“I think I’m just gonna fake sick.”

I thought it was a lame idea, but I had nothing to lose in this situation so I told him to go for it. So we started to slow down again, but only this time we slowly began to paddle softer, in hopes a teacher would find something wrong a little more believable. We were going full DiCaprio on this one. Finally, the teachers had caught up to us again, and Chris did the best fake sick act he would muster without peeing all over.

“Hey, I’m really not feeling well, do you think we could stop somewhere so I could use the bathroom?”

Chris had probably picked the worst teacher to ask this to. This particular teacher was more than likely on this trip to impress some of the woman teachers with his sleeve less shirt and his paddling ability. Without even looking at us, he responded, “We’re almost there, just a few more miles.”

I could hear my bladder sigh. I was ready to give up, but Chris refused to accept that answer.

“No please, I’m really not feeling good. Do you think we could just stop for like two minutes so I can get sick really quick and then come back?”

picture this guy

Picture this guy, but 40 and sunglasses.

The teacher became frustrated with Chris, but didn’t show it in his voice, just in the way he whipped his sunglasses off.

“Sorry man, there’s no place to stop. Just hold on a little longer and if you get sick just aim for the water.”

What kind of answer is that? ‘Hey if you get sick, just throw up in the in the water or something kid, I don’t give shit.’

We both came to the realization we were going to pee our pants shortly after that. We talked about it, and both decided that we’d pee our pants and pour water over our pants to make it look like we splashed ourselves. We didn’t care anymore, we just wanted to be able to sit in a somewhat comfortable position. I didn’t think sitting in our own pissed in pants would be comfortable, but I was tired of feeling the desperate need to pee.

So, I gave up and just let go….. And nothing happened. I tried pushing, but it just hurt my stomach.

I had been holding it so long and built up so much pressure I couldn’t pee sitting down. I kept trying to force it out, but nothing would happen unless I stood up.

I couldn’t even pee my pants if I wanted to.

Chris and I just kept paddling, hating our lives, dealing with the uncomfortable feeling of our bladders constantly burning and pushing. Until finally, we saw the dock. We saw the line of Kayaks waiting to be let out of the water.

We were home free.

The only problem was everyone was lined up on the opposite side our exiting dock. They were waiting for a barge to pass them before they went towards the dock. The instructors had explained to us before we got into the Kayaks, we had to let the barges pass us. The boats have a hard time seeing our kayaks when we are in front of them, and when passing by, the barge creates large waves that could potentially capsize our kayaks. Both Chris and I saw our chance.

We cut across the River, paddling harder than we had before, as the biggest barge we’d seen all day was barreling towards us. It felt like the scene from the perfect storm when the boat was literally parallel with the wave, except it was just a big boat honking its horn at us while we paddled across the river at a rather slow and awkward rate. Chris kept yelling commands like we had an actual crew on the kayak, saying stuff like “Keep pushing” or “Steady”. He was George Clooney’s character navigating our boat, while I was Mark Wahlberg’s, ensuring we would clear the barge in time.

We had both officially gone insane.

After being yelled at from behind by a few teachers and flipped off by the people on the barge, we had made it to the dock, while also cutting my entire class, who all apparently went pee before this kayaking trip. Chris and I were pulled towards the dock and wasted no time running to the bathroom. I allowed Chris to go first, since he was our captain. And after the longest 3 minutes of my life, that including some shameless crotch grabbing and uncomfortable dancing, I was finally able to pee.

Victory had never been sweeter.

Nobody in the class said or mentioned anything about our incident, which I thought was weird. But I guess cutting off a giant barge to run right into a bathroom was telling enough. A few teachers talked to us, but after we explained the situation they just laughed and never said anything about it again. We had made it home free. We were safe finally. It was nice remembering what an empty bladder felt like. I told myself I would appreciate the simple things in life from here on out.

We were at probably the only burger joint in Chicago’s Chinatown, and the food was not the best and rather greasy. Having relieved myself only a few shorts minutes before, the food shot right through me and the bus ride home made me relive old memories sooner than anyone should ever have to hope.

I had to poop. And this time, my body was weak and we had an hour or so long bus ride back home. We got back to school just as the day had ended, so everyone was leaving. I felt rushed. I got off the bus, and did my best to run-walk my way to the closest bathroom. I was running out of time, as I could feel my stomach churning. I made my way up the stairs outside the school and walked into the building. There were bathrooms right when I walked in, but I knew people were going to be passing by. I didn’t want them to hear, or worse smell, what I was about to do. So, I decided to find a more remote bathroom spot in the school. I made it four steps before I realized this was a mistake, as I swung back around towards the bathroom…..it was too late.

I grabbed my butt, hoping this would somehow help, but knew it was a lost cause. I got through the entrance of the bathroom and started unbuckling, as I ran into the closest stall to shit my brains outs.

The smell was terrible. I never realize how important the water in the toilet bowl was until that day. Luckily I was alone for the entire act, but when I was finally finished up, I had to deal with my boxers. They were out of commission without a doubt, but I didn’t know whether to throw them away or flush them. I was cleaning myself up in the stall when two people walked in, and instantly remarked on the devastation. They stayed for about 10 seconds before wondering out loud if the guy in the stall had shit his pants, and left.

Yeah. He did.

I took some time to gather myself, and then I pulled my pants up, wrapped my hands in toilet paper, picked up the defecated boxers, plopped them on the back of the toilet seat and ran. I drove home commando style, hopped in shower, and reflected on the day I had just had.

Sometimes, shit just happens.